“Damn right I like the life I live, ’cause I went from negative to positive”
– Notorious B.I.G. on “Juicy“
I remember when I first heard that happiness is a choice. I was like hmmm, that’s an interesting take on it. I struggled with the idea, especially with the hardships I faced. As I thought about it though, it began to resonate. I mean, it’s definitely oversimplified, but it made sense. So, let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about choosing happiness.
Before we get there though, I first wanna welcome you! Welcome to the Ajaxxx.com February 2020 Opinions Column. For those that are new to the site, this is the place where I talk about what’s going on in my head. For those returning, good to see you back! And with that, let’s talk about how we can take actions to position ourselves to live happier.
So this is gonna be a challenging one for me to write. Why? Because I need to find the right words. I also want to emphasize that I’m not downplaying any hardships that anyone may be facing and making it seem like “choosing happiness” is this easy thing. It isn’t – it can very difficult. I can see then why hearing that might make someone think it’s their fault and that they need to get it together. Not at all. Let me elaborate further.
Perhaps you’re going through a tough time, in the midst of a struggle, or there is a pain that’s real. Life can be difficult and sometimes there are unavoidable things we have to encounter. Whether it’s a bad situation at work (I spoke about this a lot last year) or a sour relationship, it can happen. These are the parts of our life that we may not have control over.
What I want to focus on is what we DO have control over…and how THAT can be part of our choosing happiness. What do you mean, ‘Jaxxx? Well, I want to provide you with specific ACTIONS that we can take that position ourselves to be in a happier place. I feel that these are more valuable than simply telling you, “yeah, you need to have a mindset change.” By positioning ourselves to be happier, we’re going to feel better. So when those unavoidable things do happen, we’re better prepared for it.
So yes, here are some actions we can take to put ourselves in a happier place. By trying some (or all) of these out, you’re essentially choosing happiness.
1) Identify what happiness is to you
This is a big one. First off, ask yourself what happiness means to you. Is it tied to your career? Family? Something else? I would recommend writing it down, especially since I’m a fan of writing stuff down lol. Furthermore, remove the idea of what society claims is happiness. Just because an image is promoted somewhere, doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what will make you happy. So, don’t compare yourself to others. Ignore social media. And let go of ego. These can all go a long way to help you determine what it is that makes you happy, along with clearing your mind for how to get there.
2) Don’t ignore your emotions
While it’s important to identify what happiness is to you, it’s also important that you don’t ignore how you’re feeling. If you’re going through something, you need to address that. And, it’s a good idea to have an outlet. Whether that’s writing about it, speaking to someone, or making a song (among other things, of course), there are many possible outlets. For me, I often write rhymes about things going on in my life that aren’t even planned for release – they’re just for me. By embracing your emotions, you can work through them and hopefully feel better. Rather than avoid how you feel, accept and engage with it. You can use that to understand why. And, those actions can lead to real growth.
3) Surround yourself with positivity
I can’t stress how important a positive environment can be for your mental state. Surrounding yourself by positive people is instrumental in having happiness in your life. They make you laugh, smile, and can even lift you up during tough times. And by surrounding yourself with that kind of energy, you’ll likely reciprocate posivity – and that’ll make you feel great as well.
4) Remove negativity
While surrounding yourself with positivity is super important, in the same token it’s just as important to remove the negativity too. If you’re in a bad place, it can REALLY rub off on you. Last year, my workplace became very toxic and it brought me down. I became stressed and anxiety levels were up. I was less “present” in social interactions and sacrificed time with friends and family too. It was not a good situation and my happiness suffered. In instances like that, you gotta figure out how to remove negativity. Depending on how bad it gets, it can go a long way.
5) Commit yourself to a cause
If you associate wins and losses to yourself, it can become very personal and you risk happiness. We have to position ourselves for happiness though, right? So instead of tying things to YOU, commit yourself to a cause instead. Whether that’s helping people, improving a situation, or working for a charity, by focusing on “the work” instead of yourself, you put yourself in a position to be happier. And when you do help that cause, it is a real fulfilling feeling.
6) Focus on your health
I talked about this last month, but it’s so important here too. Focusing on your health – whether that’s exercise, diet, or meditation – can go a long way when choosing happiness. Meditation can become an anchor you use that protects you from sadness or negativity. Exercise and diet can give you new energy levels and strength to make you feel better. And by focusing on those things, your mind will be more sharp and you’ll be able to work through negative situations better.
So there you have it, some real practical ways for how we can choose happiness. Rather than just talk about how we need to change how we think, I wanted to focus on specifics – real actions we can take – that’ll help to improve our happiness. Hope this helps you as much as it helps me!
Until the next episode, folks. Stay up, stay safe, and hold ya head. Ajaxxx signing out, PEACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
